This is for everyone who at some point has felt less than what they are, who have sacrificed bits of their happiness for people who don’t seem to acknowledge or appreciate the act. Always remember you’re special , do you.
– Enoabasi Nta
For a while now, I have been trying to handle all that life has thrown my way because like my mother said, if I don’t get anxious or worked up now in my 20’s, when? I don’t think enough credit is given to this generation because, honestly, we have a lot on our shoulders. Can I get an amen somebody?!
We are, literally, the largest youth population in the history of man, and have to worry about achieving the SDG’s, finishing school, getting jobs, adulting and to top it off, we also have to worry about personal issues such as social media palaver (living the life we don’t have while hustling to get it), fitting-in in society (something I always struggled with) and being morally upright while trying to ‘ball and stunt for the gram” because, social media.
About my Absence
Year 21 has been a major roller coaster for me; from finishing uni to NYSC to actually seeing my passions take up form. My team and I finally started our NGO, FEMPOWER (please check our insta => here <= and join the family), and kicked off in Ghana, hence why I was there for quite a bit. My insta fam will have the best knowledge of my wakabout. And recently we began our work here in Nigeria. These are part of the factors with why I haven’t been on here because real life is getting tougher by the second but I know it’ll be alright.
The major thing tbh that kept me away is, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. Things were happening so fast I didn’t feel like I had control of life and that was pretty scary. I started having mini anxiety/ panic attacks and that became a sign for me, to take the needed time to reclaim my life. I’m a lover of life and my main destination in life is happiness so these issues weren’t part of my great 5 year plan hence, the need to take control.
I have not always had my shit together, I’ve not always known what I want to do with my life and I’ve not always loved me. Heck sometimes till date I don’t always do but something I can say is I will still strive for it. In this phase of getting Uyai back and bringing Uyai 2.3 into the game, I’ve opened up my mind and included some new tips that have helped me reclaim my life and, in usual fashion, I’ll be sharing them with you.
The Perfect Guide to Reclaiming Life
- Don’t feel bad if you have to cut people off. Because you’ve known them for ages, probably dated them or live close by, doesn’t mean they are good for you, your growth/ journey, your destination or peace of mind.
Once I realized and accepted this, a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying left my shoulders. Don’t go around acting like you’ve got a stick up your
assderrière when they’re around, still be you and be polite but remember, you don’t owe them an explanation.
- Know when to say no and let that be final. Stop compromising for those who won’t do same for you. I’m guilty of saying no and letting the guilt gnaw at me till I give in, but lately, my no means no and the people aren’t pleased about it.
- Push you and yours to be better and to do better. A family that grows together will stand the test of time. I’m blessed that my few friends are people who encourage me to do better and I them, because they ensure I try to acheive the best version of me I can be at every stage in my life. Thanks for all the love and support guys!
- You can’t make everyone happy, so stop trying to. The only person in history (both fictional and real life) that even comes close is Santa Claus and we all know he don’t exist.
- You don’t owe anyone shit. Don’t let them emotionally black mail you into “assisting”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for charity works of the heart but if a person *insert leeches name*, feels entitled to your success especially if he/ she didn’t play a role in it, girl/ boy bye.
- Not everyone will love you, so better give you all the love you can. I was guilty of waiting for someone to love me for me to feel as though I was worth loving and I started to forget that self-love is one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen for you. And if you already haven’t reached this phase in life, huntty, you need to get you some self love activating pills.
- Not everyone will see the best in you but don’t let that stop you from being the best you can be. Throwback to the days my grades slipped in my first year of uni and some of my college staff “advised” I move to the less technical courses that didn’t require brain work but baby girl refused to be “advised” and stuck it through. I didn’t graduate top of class, but it gives me pride when I see how far I’ve come.
- The world doesn’t owe you anything. Pick up the pace and get working. I don’t exactly believe in luck, but I beleive results only come when work is ut in. Hence, the reason why everyday I’ve dedicated 1 hour to working on drafts, proposals, plans, you name it.
- You won’t have roses and flowers handed to you. It’s your duty to plant the seeds, water them and tend to them. No pain, no gain. Want to go to that party but you’re yet to edit that draft? Please sit back down and do it.
- Stop worrying about everything that doesn’t seem to be going according to the plan. In 5 years from now, will this be a bother? If no, take a chill pill. Yes, still take a chill pill and come to it later.
And there you have it, the few ways you can reclaim your life. My goodness, it feels great to be back to writing again. I’m definitely not going to push it and I’ll be taking it easy because, body no be fire wood.
At the end of the day dear one, if you’re not happy, is it really worth it?
Love and light,